Ok, so I say to myself that it is not Holly Wood that is directing my lack of self confidence and it is not the constant bombardment of stars that look like they just might be pro-Ana women in secret behind closed doors, that’s making me have to fight such an eternal battle with my body. Instead I say that I’m fighting because of medical problems which are creeping up more and more the closer you come to 30, 40 and 50. So I do have scoliosis, two herniated discs and sciatica, but I would be lying to myself and to everyone else if I said that I didn’t have alternative motives for wanting to lose the pounds.

Along with a back that hates the excess weight, comes along the utter disgust I feel when I look in the mirror or get the courage to venture to the mall to try on some new clothes. Also there’s the fact that my sex-drive seems to be void.

Now this is by far one of the hardest things to admit, I would say it’s even harder to admit than stating that one finds their body disgusting. Our media makes it seem as though everyone else is skiny, beautiful and absolutely loves to have sex, everyone that is except for the rest of us who aren’t on TV or walking the red carpet.

I was shifting through Sssh.com’s articles when I stumbled unto this one called ” Body Weight & Sex Drive”.  I decided to share it with all of you because it made me realize a couple of things for myself , which maybe on some unconscious level I already knew but was unwilling to admit to myself.  So without further ado, here it is:

“Many people that are heavier than they would like to be are able to maintain a ferocious sex drive.  Others are less fortunate and find that their drive tends to suffer after they have put on a few pounds.  I have had some of my dear friends express to me that this has happened to them.  I have also had some personal experience with this occurrence in the past.  These two things have led me to do some further research in this matter to share some facts and thoughts that may be found to be helpful.

-> The Duke University Medical Center reports that overweight adults that lose 10% of body weight report significant improvements on their sexual quality of life.

->A 2-year clinical trial of a prescription weight-loss medication involving 161 women and 26 men indicated:

• Feelings of being sexually unattractive

• Women were more likely to report problems than men

• Lack of sexual desire

• Reluctance to be seen undressed

• Difficulty with sexual performance

• Avoidance of sexual encounters

• Lack of enjoyment of sexual activity

-> During the 2-year study, the most notable improvements were seen after 3 months and with 11.8% weight loss.

After one year of the study:

Female Improvements:

• Feeling sexually unattractive ~ from 68% to 26%
• Individuals that had not wanted to be seen undressed ~ from 63% to 34%
• Difficulty with desire ~ from 39% to 15%
• Avoidance of sexual encounters ~ from 29% to 15%
• Not enjoying sexual activity ~ from 21% to 11%
• Difficult with performance ~ from 27% to 12%

Male Improvements:

• Individuals that had not wanted to be seen undressed ~ from 31% to 10%
• Difficulty with desire ~ from 23% to 10%
• Avoidance of sexual encounters ~ from 19% to 5%

The results of this study were presented at The Northern American Association for the Study of Obesity annual meeting held in Vancouver, B.C. on October 17, 2005.  “We saw very dramatic reductions in the number of people reporting difficulty following moderate weight loss. If people experience benefits and rewards from their weight loss and health efforts, it may help motivate them to continue a healthy lifestyle,” said the author.  Clinical experts seem to recommend losing weight in order to get back in the saddle.  Is weight gain and weight loss the “end all” conclusion?  I think not.

Don’t let Hollywood and the media fool you:

Physical beauty or what the media dictates to be physical beauty is not everything in the wonderful world of sex. Young girls make themselves sick to look like the women they see on television, in magazines, and on the movie screen, while older women are spending thousand dollars in surgery to do the same. How did we get here? There are so many men out there that actually appreciate the way a “real woman” looks. Beauty and art does not appear in one way! Olympia looked nothing like Paris Hilton. One of the most utopian aspects of life is variety, we must see so much more than we already do, not only in others but in ourselves. See yourself as beautiful and you are beautiful (and sexy). Feel sexy + act sexy = is sexy!!!!! You do not have to lose weight to feel better about yourself. Make the decision on your own just to feel better about yourself and celebrate who you are and your sex life will                                                                             flourish.

There is so much to sex….

Initial attraction, though fun, is such a small piece of the sexual puzzle. Once you have snatched someone (pardon the pun), enjoy that someone. They are with you, therefore they are interested. We all need sex, so give in to that need. See yourself as a wondrous sexual giver and give, even if you do not think you feel like it. Like getting into a swimming pool, though you may be hesitant at first, it often feels wonderful once you decide to give in. Let go of your self-conscious thoughts, they don’t do anyone any good and Just Do it as Nike says.

There are so many ways to be and feel sexual. So many senses are being used. Explore with more than just the visual. Take pleasure in using different smells, sounds, and sensations. Fragrance yourself in a long bath with sensual oils, make your body extra smooth, try some music or make your own sounds. If you want to continue to emphasize on the visual, continue to be beautiful even in the scale isn’t saying what you want it to. Everyone looks hot by candlelight, everyone can garnish themselves in a fetching way, and everyone has assets to use. Appreciate and utilize these amazing things and forget about what you thought were short comings. There not. If the person cannot see and appreciate the goddess in you, they are deaf, dumb, and blind.

Big and Beautiful:

Finally, people are recognizing that big IS beautiful. Models and actors that weigh more than ninety pounds are showing up more and more. Here are some cool links if you are, or looking for big and beautiful.

The Big & Beautiful People Network

Big Cupid

Whether you are looking to make some changes in your body, to love your body the way it is, or both, you do not have to get stuck in a sexual rut. Find ways to feel good about who you are, who you are with, and how it is to have sex. Try some new things to help with the desire and find beauty and sexuality in your partner. We are able to control much more than we think with our minds. We have practiced so long how to hate or dislike ourselves. Let’s now change that practice into loving ourselves and being the sexually creatures we strive to be!”

So As you can see Sssh.com offers some extremely valuable advice as well as giving us the connection between not just body weight and our sexual drive but more so our Body Image and our sexual desires. If it helps at all, we all know that sexual activities burn a hell of a lot of calories, so why not incorporate sex with our partner as part of our exercise routine? What I mean to say is that maybe having sex is the answer to not only make us feel sexier, (because who doesn’t feel sexy when their partner is showing them just how much they want them?) but also to helping us shed off those extras pounds! If you feel good about yourself much more changes than just your  confidence level. You will eat less, move more and hold your head up high. All of which in the long run encourage weight loss since good posture works more muscles and you won’t binge on food, like I do, when you’re feeling all down on yourself!

]]> http://www.eroticscribes.com/body-weight-and-your-sex-drive/feed/ 0 http://www.eroticscribes.com/fun-in-the-kitchen/ http://www.eroticscribes.com/fun-in-the-kitchen/#comments Wed, 09 Jun 2010 17:07:34 +0000 jujugrrl http://www.eroticscribes.com/?p=261

Sitting down together at the table for a meal whether it be breakfast lunch or supper can add some unexpected benefits to your relationship with your partner. I know how easy it is to sit down in front of the television and have your supper while being mindlessly entertained, trust me, but once in awhile get up off that couch, set the table and enjoy some one on one meaningful time together. This cute couple from Sssh.com know exactly what I am talking about. They sit down together just for an afternoon snack! Not only does sitting down together with no other distractions force you both to actually talk to each other it also reinforces that bond that you have together and can sometimes lead to some romantic fun! Playfully feeding him partner a bit of apple leads this hot stud to a steamy make out session with his loved one. Too many of us tend to restrict our sexual activities to being strictly nighttime activities or morning ones. We tend to, once we have been together for awhile, think of sex as secondary. But keeping up a healthy sexual relationship with your partner will make you guys feel closer than ever and will also make you both feel great. Try to have sex together whenever the mood is right, don’t say ‘no I’m busy” or “not now or “I’m too tired”. If anything looking at this free porn for women gallery should make you realize that we need to live in the moment to keep our relationships alive and exciting. Once again you don’t have any further to look when searching for relationship advice and ideas!

I’ve always found that I am definitely more of a morning person especially when it comes to sex. I know that it is not that normal for a woman to be ready for a good romp in the morning but I wasn’t always like this, it is just something that I have come to really enjoy throughout the years. Morning sex can be just s appealing to women as it is to men who are almost always raring to go in the morning, it is no longer just a man’s fantasy but now also porn for women. Just think about it,  not only does your boyfriend tend to already have a massive hard-on or morning wood as they like to call it that will make you sigh with content, but sex in the morning can make the difference between having a good day and a great day. With all those feel good hormones running around in your system after a good fuck, you will find yourself smiling for no reason throughout your work day and not really stressing at the usual work annoyances. The plus side is that your boyfriend or partner will be feeling the same and when you both have great days at work, you will both be much happier when you get home. It’s almost like having a little jog in the morning but much much more fun and satisfying!

There are some tricks to having good morning sex though. If your partner is still sleeping then gently wake him/ her up. If you are a guy don’t start poking her with your cock. For the majority of women this is a huge turn off. Instead try paying attention to her. Make her feel sexy. Be prepare,  keep some mints on the bed side table to make a morning make-out session sexy rather than stinky. Also have a condom within arms reach, the delay of having to scrounge around for one can easily take the  romance out of the moment. Go to the bathroom before you go to bed. If you really need to go int he morning then get up before hand and then return to bed.

Sex in the morning will put a smile on both your faces and you’ll feel great all day long thinking about how dirty you were in the morning. If you both have to work than try to train your internal clock to wake up earlier so that you have enough time for an early morning romp. You don’t want to set the alarm early to wake up for sex. That makes it seem forced. Just take a look at the free movie gallery that I posted above. This real life couple from Sssh.com shows us how perfect a good morning fuck can be.

Orgasms are wonderful and exhilarating, but are they really all the same? First comes the build up, then the tension, the joy, and the release. This occurrence happens all the time, so can one call it all the same? We can rate and scale the gasm, or we can link it to a magnificent experience. Some of us actually sit and ponder about such things. So, let’s see what we’ve got.

Level I: The infamous fake orgasm. Though many women have argued that a fake orgasm is often “counterproductive”, sometimes we find it necessary. No one likes to admit it, but all of us have found ourselves in a position where we would just like intercourse to end. Whether it’s a less skilled, but eager individual that won’t give it up until they think they have pleased us, or we are just too damn tired to continue. This is definitely the “black sheep” of the orgasm family, the one no one wants to talk about. So, we will move on.

Level II: The Shudder. We are excited; sensations are building and building, until finally we get that lovely tingle inside our pelvic walls. Our man feels that little squeeze as “a job well done”. Everyone is happy, or ready for more. This is a mild but happy little feeling just below our bellies. Let’s try that again!

Level III: The Great Shudder. This is a stronger more powerful spasm within the walls, which takes our breath away, and rocks the whole body. We feel this strongly in our center, and some times up through our faces, or down to our toes. Many times this great quake may push our men over the edge into their own climax. We give ourselves a little “high five” to ourselves, to remind us that we are truly hot irresistible creatures!

Level IV: The Presentation of Product. The spray. The spray is the geyser of love juice, physical evidence to our guy that he has hit the nail right on the head. This may or may not feel as intense as the great shudder, and may embarrass some women. This occurrence has lead some women into conversation with their mothers or doctors, as they wonder whether or not there might be something wrong with them. I personally wondered where exactly the product came from, or what it was made of. It took several years of human anatomy, along with long conversations with embarrassed professors to get a straight answer. The best answer that I was able to get, was that it came from the inner lining/skin of the vagina. These membranes have sudoriferous glands that release these “secretions” when stimulated to do so

Sublevel IV: Increased Amounts of Product. This is the wet spot that doesn’t quit. Will I ever stop? From seemingly out of nowhere, it just keeps going, and going. Where will I sleep? I have saturated my resting place! This level renders us exhausted and literally drained! Men feel like they are truly “THE MAN”! After all, they have totally emptied us and wonder if there is some sort of trophy they may receive for such a performance. They may seem distracted as they are putting together a title for themselves like “The Rain Maker”, or “The Great Gushby”.

Level V: The Great Shudder with Product. The Mecca, or the Holy Grail of orgasms. We are thoroughly sated. We may need to rest after such an experience. Sometimes women will find a strange surge of energy that baffles our partners. Suddenly, energy is mustered up to clean the whole house at once, or run ten miles. On other occasions we may be able to think of something extremely mindful. Finally, we collapse from sheer exhaustion. We are spent.

Level VI: The Final Level. This is the point of no return. Yes ladies, we have now reached “the multiples”. We are somehow able to cum over and over again, and at times we wonder if we will actually ever stop. Some of the more inquisitive will continue this process, and try to test to see how many times they can reach climax, before wearing themselves out completely. It’s funny how it is almost like listening to a thunderstorm. “Oh, there’s a big one, that was kind of mild, here we go again, that one took me by surprise…”

So we’ve identified that there are varying levels. But would we still label them all the same? First the tension, then the climax, wash, rinse, and repeat. Perhaps it’s the experience itself where lies the difference. The experience could be true love for the first time, for the next time, or for the last. It could be wild passion from a place that you didn’t even know existed. Maybe it is the rediscovery of a long absence, or newfound realization. There is so much more than a skilled hand that brings us to total pleasure. It gets much deeper than just the physical. Also involved are the emotional, the spiritual, and the mental components.

Emotion is a large part of an orgasm for both women, as well as men. It becomes obvious for the men, as they just cannot perform if they aren’t feeling right inside. Many times if a man goes to a doctor with performance problems, they are sent home after being told that it is “all in their head”, that they need to discover what is bothering them, or holding them back. Now that the pharmaceutical industry has exploded, many doctors will hand them a bottle of Viagra and say, “that otta do it!”. Most men have difficulty getting to orgasm, or even erect if they feel that their partner is dissatisfied with them in any way, or if they are under an enormous amount of pressure.

Women will have a hard time reaching orgasm, or even getting wet, if they are not emotionally in the right place. This is why many women don’t even experience orgasm until they are older. Many young women lack the confidence to really let go, and just enjoy. They are concerned with what their body looks like, how they smell, what noises they should or should not be making, if they are pleasing their partner, what the motives of the partner may be, if there will be a next time with this partner, what they need to do so that there is a next time, and so on. How could anyone possibly experience passion while being consumed with such turmoil? We older women wish we could have our young bodies back, but we would never give up what we have gained in our minds!

Of course, spirituality comes into play. Otherwise, there would be no yelling of “Oh God”! Regardless of what a person’s belief system is in the spiritual sense, everyone can experience that unexplainable “feeling” of something. Some may call it energy, others may consider it Gods work, some mistake it for love, whatever it is, it is certainly THERE! Most are satisfied with terming as the “connection” a couple feels when they are together. You can feel it by just a touch, holding hands, a kiss, a hug, or unbridled passion while making love. It’s that wonderful “draw” that pulls us together and makes us feel “right”.

Finally, we take the “mental” picture. Does intelligence turn us on? Does it also matter how bright someone is, as well as how good-looking they are? Admittedly, there are some folks of lower self esteem that actually prefer to be with someone dumb and willing. A greater number of us get totally turned on by a male or female with intellect, wittiness, and a great sense of humor. We like to be with someone that we feel are our equals, or someone that is beyond us, that may be able to help us to grow in some way. I have met some brawny, hot looking men, that I just could not get attracted to because I was unable to engage in meaningful conversation. Many have expressed similar situations.

So there we have it, the mind, the body, the soul, the heart, every ingredient for an orgasm. When a component is lacking, we sometimes try to fill it with a manufactured component, like ambiance, porn, change of atmosphere, or element of excitement. All in all, we do whatever it takes to get ourselves to where we want to go. To get that wonderful spasmic feeling, that provides us with joyous release. This is the magical place of the magnificent orgasm!

Hope you enjoyed this interesting read as much as I did! You can always go to Sssh.com to read more female sexuality oriented articles or check otu their porn for women!

There are many reasons that men are attracted to women that are in shape.  Some appreciate the fact that they are obviously taking care of themselves and their health.  Others just like to look at the curves, or the fine physique.  But many are realizing that by being fit, the woman would posses the stamina to completely screw their brains out.  Phrases like, “A tigress in bed”, “Unbelievable in the bedroom”, or “the fuck of a lifetime”, are expressed when describing experiences.

This article is designed to help that tigress inside have the ability to come out to play, or pounce on their prey!  Instead of exercising for cosmetic reasons, would it not be more fun to train for sexual reasons?  Everyone gets frustrated watching the scale, arguing with that pair of jeans that have obviously shrunk in the dryer, or glaring at our images in the mirror.  Wouldn’t a more intimate and exciting goal be more motivating? In addition, the results in this case, literally come faster!

The key to any exercise program, along with a sexercise program, is cardiovascular endurance, flexibility body composition, and muscular strength and endurance.  A little bit of each goes a long way.  The most important component of this or any program is consistency.  Determination breeds success, practice makes perfect, and repetition builds confidence.  These are the words of athletic coaches all over the world.  We are about to embark on training for the greatest sport ever!

Cardio

We will begin with cardiovascular endurance.  This element is the base of a fantastic lovemaking session.  We cannot just lay back and let or partners do all the work if we want that gold star.  No, we have to have both the ability to go, and to keep on going like that little bunny in the Duracell battery commercials! It is not a coincidence that the incessant pounding of the drum sounds exactly the same as a bed slamming against the wall!

On a daily basis, one should perform at least thirty minutes of sustained cardiovascular activity inside their target heart-rate zone.  There are two ways to find your target heart rate zone.  The more complicated, but exact method takes the number 208 and adds it to .77 multiplied by your age.  Then multiply that number by both .65, as well as .85.  This will give you a range of working between 65 and 85 percent of your heart rate zone.

The easier method involves Rate of Perceived Exertion (RPE).  Using this technique you can judge your exertion on a scale from one to ten, one being rest and ten being as hard as you can possible work.  For the first five minutes, give your body a chance to warm up, staying around five.  Then build up to seven or eight and hover there for at least 20 minutes.  Finally, let your body cool down for five minutes, beginning around five, then four, then three, two, and one.

The simplest definition for body composition is the ratio between muscle cells and fat cells.  Of course we would like that ratio to favor on the side of the muscle cells.  Some fat cells are necessary to lubricate the joints and provide insulation, but an over abundance can be unhealthy, and can put a damper on bedroom performance.  The best way to get body composition in check is through a negative caloric intake.  This simply means to loose weight, burn more calories than you take in.  Why not burn those calories in bed?

Another way to increase the ratio of lean muscle is to build lean muscle.  This does not mean that we are looking to become a Cinderella on steroids.  Many women fear that working muscles will render them looking bulky and “man-like”.  This is a myth.  It takes a great deal of work, and a very heavy load for a female to put herself at such a “jacked-up” level.  To build muscle, while looking long and lean, increase the number of repetitions and lessen the weight.  A good range to work at is 15-20 repetitions, at a weight that causes you to be fatigued during the last few repetitions of the exercise.  Certain types of exercises can put muscle where you want it to give you the ability to perform, as you would like.

Lower Body

For the woman on top… Legs, legs, and more legs!  Naturally, squats are a wonderful exercise to help you “squat” up and down on your man!  Think about how many repetitions you may execute while taking that wild ride.  Most like more than fifteen or twenty.  We must train for endurance, and for style.  Strictly moving up and down systematically can serve to be rather mechanical.  We want to pulsate, sway, circle, move, adjust, and change for the amazing ride.

While squatting in the fitness world, it is imperative to have proper form.  As you travel downward, keep the back straight, and avoid having the knees jut forward past the toes.  This puts too much stress on the knee joint.  In order to prevent this, stick your butt back as you move down, much like you are urinating in the woods, and you wish not to “wet” anything.

Begin with 8 repetitions or “reps”, moving down, then up.  For the next 8 reps count to 3 as you move down more slowly, and then up for 1 count.  Then for the following 8, move down for 1 count, and up slowly for 3 counts.  Slow the next 8 way down, counting to 4 counts down, and 4 counts up.  Next, add some pulses for 8.  Move down with 4 counts pulse for 4, then back up for 4 counts.  Finish off going down for 4 counts, pulse for 8 counts, then back up for 4 counts.  Rest for one minute, then do it all again for a second set.  As you get stronger, increase from 2 sets to 3 or 4 sets of the whole routine!

Upper Body

The upper body needs to be strong as well, so that we can grab on to things, lift-up, hold position, balance, and try out multiple positions.  In order to accomplish this feat, we must have strong abs, arms, back, and chest.  The most important key points to working the abdominal muscles is pulling that belly button toward the spine as you lift your body up, and keep those abs TIGHT.  Lay on your back, with our feet flat on the floor with the knees bent.  Lift your upper body up in the counts, lifting (tight-tighter-tighter) then release.  Repeat for 15 repetitions.  Complete this 15-rep cycle 3 times, totaling 3 sets.

Arms are up next.  Working the triceps and biceps.  For the triceps, head for a set of stairs in your house to try some triceps dips.  Place the heel of you palms on the second to last step (so that your back is to the staircase).  Slowing lower your body down and up for a total of 15 repetitions.  Complete this cycle to 15 three times.  To challenge yourself, you may add weight to you lap using weights, container of laundry detergent, gallon of milk, or medium sized dog.

You may use similar types of weights for biceps curls, only you would need one for each hand (two medium sized dogs?).  Hold a weighted item in each hand, as you stand with feet shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent.  Starting will your arms straight down, slowly curl your items up as you bend your elbows leading your items to your shoulders.  Slowly lift and lower your items in counts of 4 up, then counting 4 down.  Continue this exercise 15 times.  Again, you should feel fatigue on the last few repetitions.  If you do not, simply add more weight.  This rep cycle, like all others, should continue for 3 sets.  Aren’t you glad were writing this all down for you?

The chest can be worked with your everyday push-ups.  Remember those from gym class?  Those teachers told you that you’d need them some day.  Perhaps if they were more specific and told you they could help with sex, you would have paid more attention!  For the beginner push-up executer, start with your knees on the floor, hands on either side of your shoulders, and face nearly touching the floor.  Keep your back straight and abs in tight as you slowly lift your upper body by straightening your arms.  Move slowly up and down, lowering that face close to the floor.  Once you get good and strong, you may progress from your knees on the floor, to your toes on the floor.  Do as many as you can, progressing to 15 repetitions.  Once you make 15 repetitions, you can increase your number of sets.  Work each muscle group every other day.

Are we tired yet?  Don’t quit now, we still have the back to strengthen.  Lay on your stomach.  Put your hands under your hipbones, to support the hips.  Start with your nose nearly touching the floor, and lift your upper body slowly up off the floor and then return.  Your feet should not lift off the floor.  As always, 15 repetitions build to 3 sets of 15.

Last but not least is our flexibility.  We want good flexibility so that we can easily get into all those crazy positions and hold that pose without irreparably pulling a muscle!  The key to stretching is to stretch every muscle group at least once per day after the muscles have been warmed up, hopefully by exercise.  Hold each stretch for at least 15 to 30 seconds.  The key here is consistency.  If you stretch everyday and hold every stretch, you will see improvement in as little as two weeks!  Remember to stretch only until you feel the stretch.  You should not feel pain.  And never bounce when stretching.  Ease into every stretch taking deep cleansing breathes.

Congratulations!  You have just been trained by an actual personal trainer to get your body ready to do what you like to do best!  If you work this program diligently, you will see some improvement in your strength, cardio abilities, flexibility, and body composition.  This will result with an increased amount of energy, stamina, range of motion, and POWER in the bedroom!

My man and I have made a real effort recently to slow things down in the bedroom. We had noticed that the romance had seemed to have somehow just completely slipped away from us and so it was either that we were going to give in to the lack of romantic feelings in our relationship or try to rebuilt that fire which once burned so bright. One trick that we started to do was to keep our underwear on for as long as possible before having sex. We will just lie together, teasing each other with licks, caresses and kisses until we are both unable to stand it any longer. It reminds me a lot of when we were teenagers and would just make out for hours. Although we don’t do this for hours, we did notice the same types of feelings coming back to us as when we were young. Even when our underclothes come off, we do not proceed directly into the horizontal tango! Instead we enjoy each others bodies as much as we can.  So my advice to you is that if you are going to rush around, let yourself and your lover at least enjoy a bedroom where time is meaningless. Slow things down together, really take the time to enjoy the pleasure and ecstacy that are you giving each other.

Their is so much more to Sssh.com besides the porn that they offer. Besides the numerous galleries of softcore adult photographs, there is also how-to videos that teach us techniques on how to please our lovers by a sex educator, video tutorials that cover everything from how to apply makeup to how to do a strip tease, smokingly hot short novels and stories that will leave you panting as you read them and much much more. I don’t bother buying women’s magazines anymore, there’s no point really when everything that I would normally read about is right here all in one place. It’s so easy to see that this site was made for women by real life women who know exactly what it is that catches our interests. Okay i’m done ranting and raving about the site for now. But seriously I recommend it to anyone over the regular porn only sites!