Self Discovery

by: Heather Dawson

The turbulent storm was raging outside, just as it had been almost all day. The humidity and the pounding of the rain were making me sleepy and tired. Just plain old groggy. I decided to retire to my bedroom for a nap until the showers had ended. I was too weary to continue working on the business project that was before me. I had, for sometime, been in a self evaluation period, and I no longer felt like I knew who I was. Somewhere something had gotten lost.

I retreated to my bedroom as the thunder roared. It was illuminated only by the misty haze that hung in the spring air. I slipped out of my sweats and went across the room to toss them into the hamper. I began to re-trace my steps, as I caught my image in my mirror. I stopped, looking curiously for a moment. The hazy light made my fair skin seem luxurious. My blonde hair, pulled up, had taken on an ash tone, and my oval face was highlighted by my full blush lips and deep grey eyes.

I raised my hand to my face and traced the soft lines of my cheekbones, my eyes closed as I began caressing my flesh. I looked down at my breasts, through the mirror, full and round, they stood suspended by the bra that held them. I moved my hands to release them from the contraption that embodied them. My nipples became erect and took on a sudden glow.

I began to feel my sexuality as the sweet fragrance of my own flesh rose and hung in the heavy air. As I closed my eyes, I saw my delicate body and envisioned it wrapped lightly in silk. I placed the palms of my hands on my nipples, and began circular motions as I felt the imaginary fabric caressing them to their full alertness. I gazed again into the mirror, as I guided a hand to my panties, I felt the texture of the satin ribbon daintily tied in bows against my hips.

I tugged gently at the ribbon until the bow came untied, the corner of the panty fell down exposing the skin just to the side of my vagina. My stare into the mirror had become fixed as I stroked the skin with my littlest finger. I watched myself convince my other hand to render the other bow unsecured, allowing the light panties to dropped to the floor beneath me.

I looked down to see the wisps of golden hair that was no longer compressed by the panties. I watched in the mirror as I guided my fingers, gently placing them over my vagina, the warmth comforted me as my forefinger slipped down to where my vaginal lips began to part. I felt the moistness that I had anticipated, the heady sensations that arose intoxicated me, and my legs began to quiver with bliss.

I spread my legs slightly apart as I began to massage my clitoris, pressing it between my fore and middle fingers. The motion increased my secretions much to my pleasure, and I began to press delicately, nurturing it until I felt it begin to swell.

I saw myself as a glorious vision of loveliness as I began my decent to the carpet. Now on my hands and knees, I turned sideways seeing my breasts hang down, greeting their new environment with utter elegance and grace. I raised my feet above my buttocks, supported only by my hands and knees. I lowered my bosom enabling me to massage them on the soft, yet scruffy carpet.

I began to move slowly back and forth as I watched my nipples graze the textile. It was a wondrous sensation as I again felt them become fully erect. I felt a drop of my essence roll down my inner thigh. I raised to face my mirrored image, relishing my sexual glory, I sat with my legs spread apart, resting my buttocks on the heels of my feet.

I watched enthralled as I raised hands to my breasts, again with my thumb and fore-finger, I rolled the nipples, they tingled with extraordinary pleasure. I pulled them outward and increased the applied pressure, I raised them upward and exposed the ivory skin beneath. I pulled and tugged at them until I could stand no more. I placed both hands onto them and began to squeeze and massage all of their area.

I watched myself as I was doing this and revelled in the release of my stress. I felt a sense of security knowing that I could be in control of at least on thing in my life…the way I made love to myself. My sensations and confidence allowed me to become totally uninhibited, exploring my body and my total sexuality.

I abandoned my thoughts and moved my hands down to my vagina, curiously watching the mirror to see what I would do next. I glided a finger to the opening of my tunnel and felt my warm juices oozing. I slid my finger inside me and began to explore the inner walls of my pleasure center. I entered another finger and watched myself glide them in and out, in and out.

I began to grind rhythmically against my fingers, I pumped them harder and faster as I began to moan in a low whisper. My essence was flowing freely so my fingers glided easily, I watched my image in the mirror and began to increase my trusts. I pushed harder against my hand as I watched my lips spread and contract. I used my other hand to steadily massage my clitoris, only to increase my stimulation tenfold. I felt and watched as my body began to involuntarily convulse, the ritual that would bring me full climax.

I pulled my fingers out of my vagina and rubbed the thick juices over my entire vaginal area, then I re-inserted them. I spread my lips with my other hand and caressed them gently, rubbing the juices into them. I watched my fingers slide in and out of my vagina in the mirror. I watched my mouth open and my tongue spread fiery saliva across my lips.

My pace quickened, and my long, hard thrusts turned to short, violent ones. I flicked a finger quickly on my clitoris as the others pumped me faster. My head fell back, I let out deep sighs of pleasure . . . I knew that I was there.

My whole body began to contract and my movements were tense. Sensations rippled through my body in immense waves as I plunged my fingers deep into my vagina and massaged my clitoris with extreme pressure. My juices gushed onto my fingers and hands in colossal volume. I continued gliding my fingers in and out, steadily decreasing speed and force. I felt total release as if all was drained from within me, my body contracted once more dropping me to the floor.

I turned on my side and placed my head upon the carpet, I turned to query the mirror with one final gaze. I again saw myself as glorious. I had never experienced anything like this before, nor had I ever dreamed of anything similar. I had felt my total womanhood . . . more importantly, I had seen her.

I raised and crossed the hazy room once more. I pulled back the covers and slid into bed and fell into a deep slumber.

The storm had ended…inside and out.

Orgasms are wonderful and exhilarating, but are they really all the same? First comes the build up, then the tension, the joy, and the release. This occurrence happens all the time, so can one call it all the same? We can rate and scale the gasm, or we can link it to a magnificent experience. Some of us actually sit and ponder about such things. So, let’s see what we’ve got.

Level I: The infamous fake orgasm. Though many women have argued that a fake orgasm is often “counterproductive”, sometimes we find it necessary. No one likes to admit it, but all of us have found ourselves in a position where we would just like intercourse to end. Whether it’s a less skilled, but eager individual that won’t give it up until they think they have pleased us, or we are just too damn tired to continue. This is definitely the “black sheep” of the orgasm family, the one no one wants to talk about. So, we will move on.

Level II: The Shudder. We are excited; sensations are building and building, until finally we get that lovely tingle inside our pelvic walls. Our man feels that little squeeze as “a job well done”. Everyone is happy, or ready for more. This is a mild but happy little feeling just below our bellies. Let’s try that again!

Level III: The Great Shudder. This is a stronger more powerful spasm within the walls, which takes our breath away, and rocks the whole body. We feel this strongly in our center, and some times up through our faces, or down to our toes. Many times this great quake may push our men over the edge into their own climax. We give ourselves a little “high five” to ourselves, to remind us that we are truly hot irresistible creatures!

Level IV: The Presentation of Product. The spray. The spray is the geyser of love juice, physical evidence to our guy that he has hit the nail right on the head. This may or may not feel as intense as the great shudder, and may embarrass some women. This occurrence has lead some women into conversation with their mothers or doctors, as they wonder whether or not there might be something wrong with them. I personally wondered where exactly the product came from, or what it was made of. It took several years of human anatomy, along with long conversations with embarrassed professors to get a straight answer. The best answer that I was able to get, was that it came from the inner lining/skin of the vagina. These membranes have sudoriferous glands that release these “secretions” when stimulated to do so

Sublevel IV: Increased Amounts of Product. This is the wet spot that doesn’t quit. Will I ever stop? From seemingly out of nowhere, it just keeps going, and going. Where will I sleep? I have saturated my resting place! This level renders us exhausted and literally drained! Men feel like they are truly “THE MAN”! After all, they have totally emptied us and wonder if there is some sort of trophy they may receive for such a performance. They may seem distracted as they are putting together a title for themselves like “The Rain Maker”, or “The Great Gushby”.

Level V: The Great Shudder with Product. The Mecca, or the Holy Grail of orgasms. We are thoroughly sated. We may need to rest after such an experience. Sometimes women will find a strange surge of energy that baffles our partners. Suddenly, energy is mustered up to clean the whole house at once, or run ten miles. On other occasions we may be able to think of something extremely mindful. Finally, we collapse from sheer exhaustion. We are spent.

Level VI: The Final Level. This is the point of no return. Yes ladies, we have now reached “the multiples”. We are somehow able to cum over and over again, and at times we wonder if we will actually ever stop. Some of the more inquisitive will continue this process, and try to test to see how many times they can reach climax, before wearing themselves out completely. It’s funny how it is almost like listening to a thunderstorm. “Oh, there’s a big one, that was kind of mild, here we go again, that one took me by surprise…”

So we’ve identified that there are varying levels. But would we still label them all the same? First the tension, then the climax, wash, rinse, and repeat. Perhaps it’s the experience itself where lies the difference. The experience could be true love for the first time, for the next time, or for the last. It could be wild passion from a place that you didn’t even know existed. Maybe it is the rediscovery of a long absence, or newfound realization. There is so much more than a skilled hand that brings us to total pleasure. It gets much deeper than just the physical. Also involved are the emotional, the spiritual, and the mental components.

Emotion is a large part of an orgasm for both women, as well as men. It becomes obvious for the men, as they just cannot perform if they aren’t feeling right inside. Many times if a man goes to a doctor with performance problems, they are sent home after being told that it is “all in their head”, that they need to discover what is bothering them, or holding them back. Now that the pharmaceutical industry has exploded, many doctors will hand them a bottle of Viagra and say, “that otta do it!”. Most men have difficulty getting to orgasm, or even erect if they feel that their partner is dissatisfied with them in any way, or if they are under an enormous amount of pressure.

Women will have a hard time reaching orgasm, or even getting wet, if they are not emotionally in the right place. This is why many women don’t even experience orgasm until they are older. Many young women lack the confidence to really let go, and just enjoy. They are concerned with what their body looks like, how they smell, what noises they should or should not be making, if they are pleasing their partner, what the motives of the partner may be, if there will be a next time with this partner, what they need to do so that there is a next time, and so on. How could anyone possibly experience passion while being consumed with such turmoil? We older women wish we could have our young bodies back, but we would never give up what we have gained in our minds!

Of course, spirituality comes into play. Otherwise, there would be no yelling of “Oh God”! Regardless of what a person’s belief system is in the spiritual sense, everyone can experience that unexplainable “feeling” of something. Some may call it energy, others may consider it Gods work, some mistake it for love, whatever it is, it is certainly THERE! Most are satisfied with terming as the “connection” a couple feels when they are together. You can feel it by just a touch, holding hands, a kiss, a hug, or unbridled passion while making love. It’s that wonderful “draw” that pulls us together and makes us feel “right”.

Finally, we take the “mental” picture. Does intelligence turn us on? Does it also matter how bright someone is, as well as how good-looking they are? Admittedly, there are some folks of lower self esteem that actually prefer to be with someone dumb and willing. A greater number of us get totally turned on by a male or female with intellect, wittiness, and a great sense of humor. We like to be with someone that we feel are our equals, or someone that is beyond us, that may be able to help us to grow in some way. I have met some brawny, hot looking men, that I just could not get attracted to because I was unable to engage in meaningful conversation. Many have expressed similar situations.

So there we have it, the mind, the body, the soul, the heart, every ingredient for an orgasm. When a component is lacking, we sometimes try to fill it with a manufactured component, like ambiance, porn, change of atmosphere, or element of excitement. All in all, we do whatever it takes to get ourselves to where we want to go. To get that wonderful spasmic feeling, that provides us with joyous release. This is the magical place of the magnificent orgasm!

Hope you enjoyed this interesting read as much as I did! You can always go to Sssh.com to read more female sexuality oriented articles or check otu their porn for women!

What’s great about this scene is that it shows us that we can use simple household items to have some fun around the house. All that is needed is a bit of creativity and imagination and a whole world of erotic fantasies will open itself up to you and your loved one! think about even using a feather duster to tickle each other… or taking an icecube and running up and down your lover’s body as an erotic stimulant…the possibilities are endless!