Suppose Alicia Machado HAD Done Porn; So What?

by  Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn for Women

When it comes to potentially problematic aspects of former Miss Universe Alicia Machado’s past, the only one which would give me pause is the assertion she once threatened to kill a judge.

Read on…

Machado gained weight? That’s not exactly a character flaw, folks. She allegedly appeared in a porn video? Even if that claim had been true (which it’s not), if appearing in a sex tape is enough to render someone an untouchable in this day and age, the entire landscape of reality television is in need of an immediate overhaul.

Let’s suppose, for a moment, Machado had appeared in porn; would that render the disparaging things a certain obnoxious, faux-populist politician has said about her weight gain any less insulting? Would it make his habit of deriding plus-size women in general any more ‘presidential’?

No, it would not. It would just mean his already expansive universe of tweeted insults had extended to include someone who had done porn.

Once You’ve Done Reality TV, You’re In No Position To Judge Porn Stars

Among the most common critiques I hear about porn is that it’s an inherently exploitative creative form, one which paints people (and women in particular) in a negative light and appeals to its viewer’s worst and basest instincts.

Whether or not you agree with that assessment of porn, can you deny it fits the genre of reality television like a cheap, tacky, over-hyped glove?

While he was a well-known public figure long before getting a reality TV show of his own, I’d argue the aforementioned faux-populist presidential nominee really revived his career by riding the reality TV trend. Allegedly a serious businessman, he took the time to appear as a catchphrase-spewing master of ceremonies in a world of make-believe entrepreneurship, one which (thankfully) bears no relationship to how successful business enterprises are actually run.

Reality TV was made for someone like the bellicose cad currently serving as the Republican standard-bearer. It’s a place which rewards egomaniacs who will do and say anything to get attention. It’s a place which demands no real talent or ability on the part of its central personalities, other than abject shamelessness, raw ambition and a stunning degree of self-absorption.

There’s also nothing particularly “real” about reality television, which feigns being an unscripted environment, but is often as controlled and prearranged as any televised drama or sitcom.

In other words, it’s the perfect place for a guy who says outrageous and stupid things, then turns around and claims he never said the very thing you just watched come out of his mouth.

I Thought He Lived In A Tower, Not A Glass House

I’m in no position to criticize other people over their weight – but I’ll make an exception for a fellow fat fuck who thinks it’s totally cool to bag on women for being overweight while insanely suggesting he’s in “astonishingly excellent health” as a guy who weighs in right on the border of overweight and obese on the Body Mass Index (BMI) scale.

Granted, the BMI is not the end-all be-all of health, and the same guy who wrote the obnoxious republican such a glowing health assessment later said “I don’t think he’s in any better or worse than the average person that goes and exercises every single day,” and that in weighing his health against that of prior presidents, he was drawing a comparison to a bunch of people who are “either sick or dead.”

OK, Mr. Orange Guy, I’ll grant you this much: You are definitely currently healthier than the corpse of George Washington. I think we can all agree your opponent is, as well – unless you think contracting pneumonia is a more serious health concern than contracting progressively decomposing flesh and entirely inert organs.

This concession doesn’t mean you’re healthier than a porn star, though. Like this guy for instance, who sure looks like he could split you in half with his dick without breaking a sweat – a theory that I, for one, would very much like to see put to the test.

Really? Porn And Weight Gain Are The Big Concern?

Perhaps most stunning in all of this is that right wing media outlets who are seeking to demonize Machado would even bother with mentioning her “porn past” when there’s a seemingly legit case to be made that she once threatened the life of a judge.

In an era in which mainstream careers have been launched on the “leaking” of sex tapes, I’d sure like think the voting public would be less shocked by someone having allegedly appeared in a porn video than suggesting you’re going to murder someone who keeps a gavel on his desk as more than an affectation.

Then again, I have to remind myself this is also a country in which a lot of people seem to think it makes sense to criticize a woman for the way her husband allegedly treated his extramarital lovers, as though she told him to go out into the world and behave like a sexist putz toward the women he was cheating on her with (and/or wanted to cheat on her with) at the time.

The bottom line is this: If you’re going to take issue with Alicia Machado, why not issue with things that actually matter, like allegations she once made threats of violence and drove getaway cars, rather than bullshit concerns like weight gain and sex tapes?

Of course, all this assumes anybody is paying attention to detail in the first place – an idea which seems unlikely, given that we’re talking about an electorate which is saddled with the real possibility of being governed for four to eight years by a nonsense-spewing, self-aggrandizing reality TV douchebag.

Vote for the belligerent orange nimrod if you wish; just don’t come crying to me when a couple years from now you find yourself stuck with Chief Justice Judy and Surgeon General Oz.