If You Have To Ask….

I shouldn’t be so astonished to hear a pastor say something like “You know what? It is possible your wife’s miscarriage occurred because you watch porn.”
angry preacher

by Calico Rudasill, Sssh.com Porn For Women

Throughout my life, I’ve been warned against people who offer easy answers to all life’s questions, because easy answers often disregard nuance and complexity in favor of delivering clarity on the subject at hand.

Does lowering taxes necessarily stimulate the economy? Hell if I know; what do I look like, an economist? All I’m saying it’s possible this isn’t the sort of question which can be accurately and comprehensively answered with a yes or no.

On the other hand, some questions in life are a lot less complex than others, and in many cases, answers to such questions may, in fact, be easy.
Then again, where I see clarity, others might see shades of gray – maybe not 50 of them, but different degrees of the drabbest of hues, nonetheless.
So maybe I shouldn’t be so astonished to hear a pastor say something like “You know what? It is possible your wife’s miscarriage occurred because you watch porn.”

Talk About Mysterious Ways….

I’d never heard of Pastor John Piper before reading about his counsel to an anonymous listener who asked whether “his inability to resist temptation has caused harm to his family and God allowed his wife to lose their child,” but based on his response to that little brain-teaser, I’m comfortable saying Piper wouldn’t be my first choice when seeking advice on…. Well, anything.

After explaining that God does punish his children for their sins, Piper is asked whether that discipline could arrive in the form of “harm, or even death to others you love.”

You bet it could, says Piper. Even better? As a sinner commanded to obey God no matter what, you have zero right to know whether you’re being punished for the specific sin about which you’re concerned, or some other sin. (Or, perhaps, just because God feels like being a dick that morning.)
“The glorious truth of the Gospel is that we never need to be sure whether a specific suffering is owing to a specific disobedience,” Piper says. “You don’t need to know this.”

Anybody who has served in the military, worked for a corporation, or had parents growing up is familiar with being subject to this sort of “need to know” criteria. In the military, your need to know depends on your rank and responsibilities. In a corporation, it hinges on where you stand in the management chain. As a child…. Well, as a child you don’t need to know shit, clearly. As a child, “because I said so” is the only justification to which you’re entitled.

I guess it makes sense, then, that God isn’t inclined to explain Himself to all us mere mortals. After all, he does consider us all to be his “children,” so it shouldn’t come as a surprise when we’re sent to our room without our informational supper, even if our question revolves around why God would arbitrarily terminate a pregnancy like some sort of unaccountable, totalitarian cosmic-abortionist because the father of the fetus in question likes to jerk off to internet porn.

Or, Looked At From A Different Perspective….

I think it’s safe to say many folks who aren’t Pastor Piper (you know, people who might not believe an omnipotent, omnipresent, universe-creating super-being would behave like a petty, vindictive tyrant devoid of compassion, fairness or common sense) might give a different response to the caller’s question.

If I had been the host of the call-in show, for example, the answer might have been more along these lines:
“Of course God didn’t punish you for watching porn by causing your wife to have miscarriage, because the miscarriage is something which happened to HER, you fucking simpleton, not to YOU. Yes, the miscarriage itself is a tragedy for both of you, but why would you assume God punishes you through your wife? Is it because you literally think of her as your property, or just because you’re so self-absorbed it never occurred to you that your Creator might think of you as two separate individuals, not a man and a piece of child-bearing luggage?”

Then again, I’m no theologian, so this response might not be in line with God’s thinking. Depending on her actual bent, God might be the kind of woman more inclined to answer as follows:

“Her miscarriage was probably caused by something like a uterine abnormality, an immunologic disorder, a chromosomal issue, polycystic ovaries, an infection, or – if your wife smokes, drinks or consumes drugs – something related to her lifestyle. The bottom line is, I’m not a freaking psycho; why the fuck would I punish your wife when you’re the one who watched the porn? And what’s wrong with porn, anyway? Get a grip on yourself, for My sake. Better yet, crack a book other than the Bible from time to time and you might not feel compelled to call me with such inane questions.”

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Calico Rudasil
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Calico Rudasil

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.
Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.
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